I remember reading so much advice about breastfeeding when my son was newborn and much of it recommended that I rest as much as possible and take care of myself alongside taking of my baby. I remember so clearly thinking, "How the f*ck am I supposed to do that!?"
It is with time and the beauty of hindsight that I now know that there are many ways that I could have made small changes to take better care of myself in a world where mothers are often forgotten...
I would like to caveat this whole blog post by saying that we shouldn't be mothering in isolation and self-care should not be the only care that we receive. I know from experience though that is the case for many of us. In the fast-paced, consumer driven world that we live in, many mothers no longer have a village of care and support and we feel like we are flying solo much of the time. It will take time for that to change and so, until then, here are 5 unsexy, but practical and realistic ways that you can take care of yourself, mama:
Supplement
If your diet is less than perfect (whose isn't?), fill in the gaps with a food supplement. Prenatal (pregnancy) or breastfeeding-specific vitamins are ideal. This is not about the quality or quantity of your milk, it is about protecting your heart health and your bone density, as well as preventing brittle nails and unhealthy your teeth and gums. It's about ensuring that you don't end up as a raisin of a woman because your body's mineral reserves are going to your breast milk because you are surviving on a diet of leftover, cold pasta. (Spoken as a recovering raisin of a woman!).
Own Your Season
It can feel like every family in the world is off on daily adventures if you find yourself doom scrolling through apps like Instagram at the end of the day. Perhaps like me this makes you feel pressured to plan 101 activities for your days. However, if for now your days consist of breastfeeding and nothing more, that's not only OK - it may be essential for your physical and mental health. This season will pass, but if you are in the clutches of cluster feeding, lean into it rather than resisting it. Rest in the knowledge that you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Think: Me First
Before you use any precious ‘free,’ time that you may have to load the dishwasher, vacuum or fold laundry, ask yourself what you could do for yourself first that will help you feel a little bit more human? It could be a simple as making yourself a hot drink, or listening to an audiobook or a meditation whilst you are nap-trapped. Choose something that is entirely for you in the knowledge that you deserve every moment or respite that you can get.
Go to Your Check Ups
When did you last go to the dentist? How about the opticians? Have you had a smear test recently? What about your iron levels? Your child(ren) are likely up to date in their check ups, but how about you, mama? Work with your support network to schedule those necessary appointments too. Pregnancy and breastfeeding take a significant toll and our bodies and we need as much support as possible to help us feel well as we move through the postpartum period and beyond.
Stop Self Sabotaging
If you find yourself staying up late (don’t we all!?) in order to get some precious me-time, be brutally honest with yourself. Is it worth it? Your answer may change from day to day, but loving yourself enough to make choices which serve you can make a huge impact to your wellness, mama. Most days, an early night will help you feel more alive than the latest episode of Love is Blind...
I write this article as a recovering, people-pleasing workaholic who was terrible at even recognising her own needs. In a rather beautiful but unexpected twist of motherhood, it was giving birth to my son and breastfeeding him which made me want to change my ways and take better care of myself. Not just to boost the quality of the milk, love and care that I could provide for him, but to model healthy boundaries and self care, too.
I hope that this post reminds you that you deserve just as much nurturing as the child(ren) that you treasure so deeply.
With love,
Danielle
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