“Well, you can’t carry that on once you’re back at work.”
There is a common misconception that once you return to work you must stop breastfeeding. With mothers returning to work after as little as a month or so of maternity leave in the US, pumping breast milk for your babe once you return to work is more common than it is in the UK (where maternity leave can be up to twelve months). Employers in the UK are often ill-prepared to welcome mothers back into the workplace as they continue to nurse their little ones even though, “The Health and Safety Executive (HSE) recommends that it's good practice for employers to provide a private, healthy and safe environment for breastfeeding mothers to express and store milk.” Employers are also legally required to carry out a risk assessment to ensure the safety of nursing moms. (More information on specific current laws surrounding breastfeeding in the workplace in the UK, US & Australia in my 45 page guide).
When I returned to work after maternity leave, I was expected to be on duty from 7:00am each morning until around 11:00pm each night with two hours of ‘protected time’ off. If it had been difficult to work such hours whilst I was pregnant, it was near impossible to do so with a nine-month-old baby. After struggling to maintain any kind of work/life balance and failing miserably, my health took a downward spiral and I was forced to take time off with postpartum anxiety and exhaustion. When I explained to my GP that my son was waking hourly overnight at the time and would only go back to sleep on the boob, her advice was shocking: “Just go away for the weekend and by the time that you come back, he will be so mad at you that he won’t want to nurse anymore – that’s what I did.”
Needless to say, I chose to completely ignore her anecdotal ‘advice’. I share my experiences not to scare you, dear reader, but to encourage you to think carefully about what you want your working life to look like if you are returning to paid employment whilst you are breastfeeding.
It took the global lockdown and a period of me working reduced hours from home for me to find the perfect balance for our family. I worked five half days a week for a period of several blissful months while the pandemic was in full force and schools remained closed. This working pattern meant that I was able to have a few hours each day where I focussed on something that was just mine - teaching - and it felt wonderful to be able to be present for my son’s naps each and every day. It felt amazing to be able to eat a home-made dinner as a family without panicking about all of the work that I had to do every evening. It felt incredible to be able to watch my son's eyes closed amidst milky snuggles each evening without having to rush back to being on duty.
Once the lockdown measures eased, finding childcare that suited us was a priority. We settled on a few mornings at nursery and the rest of the time was a patchwork mash-up of care between myself, my fiancé and my mom. On reflection, it was complicated, unsettling and undoubtedly contributed to my son's (and my!) separation anxiety at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing though and it means that I am able to draw upon my experiences to support you in managing your transition back to work in the best way possible. There are so many simple but important little changes that I could have made, but simply did not know to make. Nonetheless, it is my pleasure and privilege to share them with you.
These tips are adapted from my 45 page guide, 'Back to Work & Breastfeeding,' which is available to download here. Get 50% off for a limited time only (no code required!)
Here are my top tips for returning to work as a nursing mother:
1) Be fully present once you are back at work, rather than checking your phone for updates from your childcare provider every ten minutes. This is most certainly easier said than done, but it will make your working day go by quicker and easier. Focusing your attention at work will help you to be more productive and it will also stop the day from dragging. Give yourself permission to not feel guilty about being by your little one’s side morning, noon and night. Assuming that you do not have pre-existing supply issues, your supply will regulate so that you can continue to nurse around your working life if you choose to do so.
2) Be prepared to pump or hand express for comfort if you need to, even if you do not want or need to pump for your baby. Any discomfort or engorgement that you may initially experience will ease after a just few days as your milk supply regulates. Remember that emptying your breasts completely will boost your milk supply, so only do this if it is intentional. If you want to pump enough milk for your baby to drink whilst they are away from you, you will need to pump at the times that you would normally breastfeed your baby. For example, if your little one typically nurses four times a day between the hours of 9:00am and 5:00pm, you should take time to pump or express milk four times a day between those hours too. Store the milk you express in the fridge for use the next day. You do not need a huge freezer stash if you would like to continue to give your baby breast milk in your absence but you will need to pump regularly though to maintain your supply.
3) A common concern for breastfeeding mothers who return to work whilst their baby is still young is that they will not accept a bottle of expressed milk or formula in their absence. It is true that many babies prefer nursing directly from the breast rather than taking a bottle, but thankfully, that need not be a concern. Babies are incredibly instinctive and will not starve themselves. It is possible that your little one will wait until you are absent and they are hungrier than usual before accepting a bottle, but eventually they likely will. Asking whoever looks after your baby to practice paced bottle feeding will help with this.
In the event that your little one does not accept a bottle, they can be fed with a syringe, shot glass or teaspoon if they are unable to sit up independently. For babies who can hold themselves upright, they could be given milk in a free flowing sippy cup instead of a bottle.
4) Allow yourself time and space to adjust. It may be that you enjoy being back at work more than you realised, or perhaps you feel completely differently about your job now that you are a mother. Whatever feelings arise, give yourself permission to express them openly and honestly with someone that you trust, whether that is in person, online or via voice note. Feelings of guilt and conflict are incredibly common, but it may help you to remind yourself why you are returning to work and what the alternative would be for you and your family if you did not.
5) Find your at-work-mama-crew with whom you can share the highs and lows of being a working mom. This may mean a slight shift in your former working relationships and that’s OK! it is not a crime to develop new friendships as you evolve as your mother edition. Check in with one another when you reasonably can and be honest about the highs and lows of being a working mother.
Finally, give yourself permission to wean once you return to work or at any point if you feel it is the right choice for you and your family. Download my weaning guide for support to do this gently & responsively, here. If you would like further support with returning to work, my 45 page guide, 'Back to Work & Breastfeeding,' includes further help and advice on:
Navigating naps (even if your baby has only even been nursed to sleep!)
Choosing the right pump
Talking to your employer
Building a freezer stash
Bottle refusal
Bedtimes and more.
Get 50% off for a limited time only here (no code required)!
With love,
Danielle
❤️
Sources:
2) [PDF] Maternal plasma levels of oxytocin during breastfeeding—A systematic review | Semantic Scholar
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