Breastfeeding beyond infancy often evokes strong reactions—from admiration to confusion, and sometimes harsh judgement. Yet, for many moms - myself included - breastfeeding a toddler is a deeply rewarding experience that nurtures both mother and child in unique ways. If you're breastfeeding your toddler, or thinking about continuing, you may face practical challenges, societal pressure, and the need for setting boundaries. But here’s the thing: breastfeeding is a personal journey, and there's no "right," timeline when it comes to stopping.
Let’s break down what breastfeeding a toddler is like and how to navigate some of the common challenges that come with it.
Balancing Breastfeeding and Solid Foods
Once your baby reaches toddlerhood, solid foods become an essential part of their diet, but breast milk can still play a vital role. Many moms wonder how to balance the two. The key is to remember that breastfeeding at this stage is often less about meeting nutritional needs exclusively through milk and more about providing comfort, immune support, and a source of connection.
Breastfeeding frequency varies. Some toddlers nurse only a few times a day—perhaps before naps, at bedtime, or when they’re in need of comfort after a long day. Others may still nurse more often, especially during growth spurts or periods of emotional transition, such as starting daycare. Trust your child’s cues and let breastfeeding complement their solid food intake rather than replace it.
How Frequent Should Breastfeeding Be?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer here. Some toddlers will naturally start spacing out their nursing sessions as they become more interested in food and play, while others might want to nurse as often as they did when they were younger. Many parents find that toddlers will nurse more frequently when they’re feeling unwell, teething, or going through a developmental leap.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by frequent nursing, consider setting boundaries (more on that later), and know that it’s okay to gradually reduce nursing sessions over time. Remember, breastfeeding is a relationship—both of you should feel comfortable with how it’s going.
Setting Boundaries: It’s OK to Say No
It’s perfectly normal to set boundaries around breastfeeding, especially as your child becomes more independent. Nursing a toddler can be demanding, and it’s important to acknowledge your own needs. Whether it’s limiting nursing sessions to certain times of day or deciding not to nurse in public, boundaries can help you maintain balance.
For example, if your toddler wants to nurse in the middle of dinner, you can gently say, “We’ll nurse after dinner.” You might also redirect their attention or offer comfort in other ways, such as a cuddle or a special toy. The key is consistency—toddlers respond well to clear, loving communication.
Coping with Social Stigma
Breastfeeding a toddler often invites unsolicited comments like, “Isn’t he too old for that?” or, “She doesn’t need it anymore.” Dealing with the social stigma surrounding extended breastfeeding can be emotionally draining, but it helps to stay confident in your decision.
Breastfeeding beyond infancy is a common and normal practice in many parts of the world. In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding for two years or longer if both mother and child wish to continue. It’s important to remember that you are making the best choice for you and your child, and your confidence in that choice will help shield you from outside judgement. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand and respect your decision.
Handling a Shallow Latch and Twiddling
As your toddler grows, you might face some breastfeeding challenges you didn’t encounter earlier, such as dealing with a shallow latch or twiddling.
A shallow latch can be painful and inefficient, even for older nurslings. Toddlers sometimes become lazy with their latch, so it’s important to gently guide them back into good habits. Encourage them to open wide before latching, and don’t be afraid to reposition them if needed. I found that modelling a big wide mouth to my son really helped! If discomfort persists, consider consulting a lactation consultant who can help you troubleshoot.
Twiddling—when your toddler pulls, pinches, or plays with your other nipple while nursing—can be particularly frustrating. While twiddling is a natural behavior that may help with milk flow and comfort, it can also be uncomfortable for you. To discourage this behavior, you can redirect your toddler’s hands by offering a toy, holding their hand, or covering your nipple. It’s okay to set limits and teach them that twiddling is off-limits—after all, nursing is a two-way relationship, and your comfort matters too.
Read more about setting gentle breastfeeding boundaries with your toddler, here.
The Benefits of Continuing Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding beyond infancy offers a wealth of benefits. Breast milk continues to provide important immune-boosting properties that protect your child from illnesses, particularly as they are exposed to new germs in social settings like daycare or playgrounds.
Breastfeeding also remains a valuable source of comfort, security, and emotional connection for toddlers, helping them navigate big feelings and transitions with ease. For moms, continuing to breastfeed can help reduce the risk of certain cancers, including breast and ovarian cancer, and it often fosters a unique bond that many mothers cherish.
If you are debating whether or not to continue breastfeeding, as your self these questions first.
Building Confidence in Your Breastfeeding Journey
It’s natural to have doubts about breastfeeding your toddler, especially when you’re faced with societal pressures or logistical challenges. But remember this: you know your child better than anyone else, and you are the best person to decide what works for both of you.
The more confident you feel in your decision, the easier it will be to navigate the ups and downs of breastfeeding a toddler. Trust your instincts, embrace the joys of extended breastfeeding, and know that it’s okay to set boundaries that work for both of you. Whether you nurse for a few more months or several more years, this experience is yours to define.
If you ever feel uncertain or unsupported, reach out to breastfeeding communities—either online or in person—where you can find encouragement and understanding from other moms on the same journey. You’re not alone in this.
Join my brand new Facebook group: The Breastfeeding Mentor Community here.
Final Thoughts
Breastfeeding a toddler can be both rewarding and challenging. From balancing nursing with solid foods to handling common issues like shallow latching and twiddling, every breastfeeding relationship is unique. It’s important to remember that extended breastfeeding is a normal, healthy choice that brings both comfort and benefits to your child. And while society may not always understand or support it, your confidence in your decision can help you navigate the journey with pride.
At the end of the day, breastfeeding is about nurturing, connecting, and doing what’s best for you and your child. Continue as long as it works for both of you—and trust that you’re making the right choice.
With love,
Danielle
❤️
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