TW: references childhood and generational trauma
Many mothers feel a deep, instinctual pull toward breastfeeding on their own terms, often beyond infancy, as an act of both nourishment and reclamation. I know that I certainly did. But I don't think I realised until recently that breastfeeding didn't just help me heal my birth trauma, but many, many other layers of pain and grief that I had buried for decades.
If you’ve experienced past trauma, whether from childhood, relationships, or even birth trauma, breastfeeding may feel like more than just a feeding journey—it may be part of your healing journey as a cycle breaker.
However, trauma can live in the body, surfacing as anxiety, dissociation, hypervigilance, or overwhelm—even in the most tender moments with your baby. The good news? You can regulate your nervous system while breastfeeding through simple, grounding breathwork techniques that you can do anytime, anywhere.
These techniques honor both your inner child’s need for safety and your baby’s need for connection, helping you feel more present, calm, and attuned in your motherhood journey.
1. 4-7-8 Breathing: A Calming Anchor
Best for: Moments of stress, anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed
How to practice:
1. Inhale deeply through your nosefor a count of 4.
2. Hold your breath for a count of 7.
3. Exhale slowly through your mouthfor a count of 8.
4. Repeat 4 times.
Why this works:
This breath pattern activates the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing the heart rate and calming the body. Practicing this as you breastfeed can help turn moments of stress into moments of safety—for both you and your baby.
Try this: As you hold your baby close, imagine breathing in peace and exhaling generational wounds.
2. Box Breathing: Creating Inner Stability
Best for: Feeling ungrounded, anxious, or emotionally triggered
How to practice:
1. Inhale for 4 seconds
2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds
3. Exhale for 4 seconds
4. Hold your breath again for 4 seconds
5. Repeat as needed
Why this works:
This rhythmic breath creates balance and stability in the nervous system. If past trauma makes you feel unsafe or on edge, box breathing can retrain your body to feel secure.
Try this: Imagine drawing a square in your mind as you breathe—one side for each inhale, hold, exhale, and hold. Let each breath draw you deeper into the present moment.
3. The Five Senses Grounding Practice
Best for: Dissociation, feeling disconnected, or emotional overwhelm
When trauma is triggered, the body can go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. Grounding through your five senses helps bring you back to the present, anchoring you in safety.
How to practice (while breastfeeding):
• See:Notice your baby’s eyelashes, the way their tiny fingers curl, or how light reflects in their eyes.
• Touch:Feel the warmth of their skin, the weight of their body against yours.
• Hear:Tune into their breath, the small noises they make as they nurse.
• Smell:Take in the scent of their hair, their skin, the milk.
• Taste:If you have a drink nearby, sip it slowly and notice the sensation.
Why this works:
This practice signals safety to your nervous system and can help you reconnect when you feel triggered or emotionally distant.
Try this: As you count your baby’s fingers or toes, take a slow breath in for each one, imagining yourself grounding deeper into the moment.
4. Nursing as a Meditation: Syncing Breath with Your Baby
Best for: Creating deep connection, emotional regulation
Your baby naturally breathes in a slow, rhythmic way while nursing. You can sync your breath with theirs to create an unspoken connection and deepen your own relaxation.
How to practice:
1. Observe your baby’s breathing pattern—slow, soft inhales and exhales.
2. Gradually slow your own breath to match theirs.
3. Feel the connection between your two bodies, breathing in harmony.
Why this works:
This creates co-regulation, where both your nervous systems sync up in a state of safety. Your calmness transfers to your baby, reinforcing a deep bond and security.
Try this: As you breathe, silently say to yourself, “I am safe. My baby is safe. We are healing together.”
The Power of Healing While Nursing
Breastfeeding is more than just nutrition—it’s an embodied experience of comfort, connection, and repair. Whether you are breastfeeding beyond infancy, nursing on demand, or just finding your own way in motherhood, you are reclaiming your right to nurture and be nurtured.
Each breath you take is a step toward breaking cycles of trauma and stepping into a new legacy of presence, love, and healing.
You are not just feeding your baby. You are feeding your own healing.
If this post resonated with you, you may also enjoy my mediation for breastfeeding mamas, which you can listen to free, here.
Where to Find Support on Your Healing Journey
Healing from past trauma while navigating motherhood can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. There are many resources available worldwide to support you with trauma healing, emotional overwhelm, and intrusive thoughts:
• Therapists & Counselors– Search for trauma-informed therapists through directories like Psychology Today(global), BetterHelp(online therapy), or Postpartum Support International(specializing in maternal mental health).
• Maternal Mental Health Organizations– Organizations like Postpartum Support International offer local support groups, hotlines, and resources for mothers experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, or trauma.
• Somatic Healing & Breathwork Practitioners– Many trauma-focused practitioners offer online somatic therapy(body-based healing) and guided breathwork for nervous system regulation. Check out The Trauma Healing Institute or Somatic Experiencing International to find trained professionals.
• Community Support Groups– If you’re looking for peer connection, online communities like The Motherhood Center, La Leche League, or Postpartum Support International’s Facebook groupsoffer a space to connect with other mothers going through similar experiences.
• Crisis Support & Helplines– If you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts or distressing emotions, reach out to a maternal mental health helplinein your country. You can find a global list of crisis resources at Find a Helpline.
Remember: Seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are breaking cycles, healing, and creating a new path—not just for yourself, but for your children. You deserve the same love and care that you so freely give to your baby.
With love,
Danielle
❤️
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