Whether you’re planning a romantic getaway or need to travel for work, you probably feel conflicting emotions about the prospect of leaving your nursling overnight. On one hand, you might be excited for some me-time and the chance for a few nights of uninterrupted sleep. Or perhaps concerns about how your little one will cope in your absence feel all-consuming. Maybe you swing between these two extremes depending on the day! However you feel about your planned trip, let’s unpack the burning questions you have, including:
- How can I manage my milk supply & avoid engorgement?
- How will my baby or toddler be fed in my absence?
- How will my child be comforted & fall asleep without being nursed?
- How much do I need to pump while I’m away (if at all)?
- Should I wean my child off the breast before going away?
First and foremost, if you’re reading this out of curiosity but have no desire (or need) to leave your nursling overnight, that’s completely normal. We’re all individuals, and so are our circumstances. Some mothers can’t wait for a night away to recharge, while others have zero desire to be separated from their children overnight. Both feelings are completely valid, and you don’t need to explain to anyone why you may or may not want time away from your baby, toddler, or child. If you do want or need time away, rest assured that a few nights apart need not end your breastfeeding journey. Thousands of mothers worldwide take girls' weekends and business trips every day, leaving their breastfed babies behind. If you want or need to, give yourself permission to do the same.
Busting Myths - Do You Need to Stop Breastfeeding Before Going Away?
A common misconception is that if you’re going away for any period overnight, you should wean your child off the breast to prepare for the separation. I disagree with this for several reasons. Primarily, weaning solely to prepare your child for a night away is unnecessary. In fact, it could make your time away more difficult. Gentle weaning is a gradual process, and it may be hard to stop breastfeeding by a set deadline. Adding pressure on yourself and your baby to do this by a specific date isn’t helpful for anyone.
Abrupt weaning also has health risks for you, including engorgement and mastitis, not to mention significant hormonal fluctuations. In most cases, breastfeeding will remain your child’s comfort once you return from your trip. It’s also a wonderful way to reconnect and reassure them that your relationship hasn’t changed. As far as they’re concerned, if they were breastfed when you went away, they’re still breastfeeding when you return. Suddenly not breastfeeding after your trip could be incredibly distressing for you both. Imagine if your partner went away for the weekend and, upon returning, inexplicably never kissed you again. You’d be left feeling confused and wondering what had changed. Your child is no different. If breastfeeding is an integral part of your relationship now, a few nights away won’t change that.
In the unlikely event that your trip triggers a nursing strike, you can get your breastfeeding journey back on track (if you wish) with skin-to-skin contact, babywearing, and bathing together.
If you are ready to stop breastfeeding for any reason, you can find gentle, responsive weaning support here.
How Should I Manage My Supply & Avoid Engorgement?
If your baby is less than three months old, your supply is significantly impacted by your hormones. A few nights away won’t have a lasting impact on your supply, but you will almost certainly need to hand express or pump milk to avoid engorgement or clogged ducts. If your baby is over three months old, your supply is more closely linked to how often you remove milk. In this case, being away from your child for more than two or three nights could have a slight, temporary impact on your milk supply. To avoid this, wherever possible, pump or express milk as often as your baby typically nurses. For example, if they usually nurse four times throughout the day, aim to hand express or pump milk at similar intervals.
If you have access to a freezer and a cooler bag, you may even be able to save any milk you express to give to your children later.
But How Will They Sleep?
If your child has ever fallen asleep without you, then you know it’s possible for them to do so again. Whether being breastfed to sleep is your baby’s preference, however, is an entirely different matter. It certainly was in my son’s case. He was three and still nursing when I first left him overnight, actually for a trip with his dad to grandma’s. Up to that point, he had been nursed to sleep for most naps and bedtime since birth. As with any adult or child, though, my son could fall asleep in other ways if he felt safe and comfortable. Those really are the only two key ingredients for helping your nursling fall asleep without you: feeling safe and comfortable.
Creating this feeling, however, might take preparation. My son, for example, is a sensitive soul. He adores his dad but wasn’t necessarily happy to fall asleep with him if I was around. In my absence, though, he could. This was only possible because my son had plenty of practice falling asleep with his dad leading up to our time apart. For him, the following components were essential at bedtime:
- A full tummy and empty bladder
- A few bedtime stories
- Near silence or white/brown noise
- A darkened room
- Movement (rocking or being carried)
My fiancé is a seasoned hand with babies, a calm presence from years of soothing his nieces and nephews to sleep. If your partner or caregiver doesn’t have much experience caring for your baby solo, give them as many opportunities as possible before your trip.
Practice Makes Perfect
Choosing the right caregiver will significantly affect how you both feel while you’re away. Trust the person you feel will take the best care of your child. Give your child and their caregiver time together so they feel comfortable with each other without you. If they haven’t spent much time alone, including putting your baby to sleep, create as many opportunities for this as possible before you leave. You might even consider a “rehearsal” bedtime or overnight stay in advance. Practicing over nap times can also be helpful if overnight practice isn’t feasible.
If you haven’t already, establish a simple sleep routine and share it with the caregiver. The goal is not to force sleep but to provide a comforting environment. What does your baby need? Certain sounds? A favorite texture or motion? Share these with their caregiver to help provide those comforts.
Make a plan for comforting your baby if they get upset. Are they soothed by certain books, toys, outdoor time, or even a warm bath? Layering other comfort associations alongside nursing helps prepare your little one for the temporary separation. If you usually only comfort your baby at the breast, start adding rocking or patting to your routines in the weeks or months before your trip. Eventually, your child may come to associate these actions with comfort.
The Issue of Eating
Plan how your baby will be fed while you’re away. Decide whether to leave enough pumped milk or if they’ll be fed a mix of formula and breast milk. A rough guideline is 3oz/90ml to 5oz/150ml per feed. For breast milk storage:
- Store in a sterilized container or breast-milk storage bags.
- In the fridge at 4°C (or lower) for up to 8 days.
- In the fridge’s ice compartment for 2 weeks.
- In a freezer at -18°C (or lower) for up to 6 months.
Paced bottle feeding is recommended for all babies. If your baby has never accepted a bottle, other age-appropriate methods include:
- Under 3 months: a syringe, spoon, or small open cup.
- Over 3 to 6 months: a free-flowing sippy or open cup.
- Beyond 6 months: solids and water in a sippy or open cup. Stock up on your baby’s favorite foods to ensure they eat something, even if they drink less milk.
Whatever your child’s age, trust their intuition—they will eat when safe and comfortable. So give yourself permission to be fully present wherever you are. When reunited, that first feed will feel incredible.
Quick Checklist for Preparing Your Time Away
- Review your child’s feeding schedule and prepare enough milk/formula.
- Establish a consistent sleep routine with their caregiver.
- Practice comfort methods to soothe your child.
- Pack necessary feeding, sleep, and comfort items.
Final Thoughts
If you’d like personalized support for any aspect of navigating life as a breastfeeding mother, whether you need help taking care of yourself, returning to work, or weaning, you can book a 1-2-1 consultation with me here.
With love,
Danielle
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