Motherhood is often a journey of deep emotional connection, sacrifice, and love. Yet, when it comes to breastfeeding, this sacred bond can be met with judgment, unsolicited advice, and societal expectations that can feel overwhelming. It’s easy to let the outside world dictate how we should mother, what choices we should make, and when we should stop breastfeeding. But there’s a powerful concept I’ve learned to embrace: Let them.
Let them have their opinions. Let them judge. Let them misunderstand. But at the end of the day, it’s your journey. Your choice. Your body. And no one else’s opinion should dictate the choices you make for your child, your health, or your well-being.
A Personal Story: “Let Them Think What They Want”
I’ll never forget a comment made by a relative of mine when I was breastfeeding my then three-year-old son. This relative, well-meaning yet uninformed, made a joke about us resembling characters from Game of Thrones—alluding to the idea that breastfeeding a child that old was somehow strange, inappropriate, or weird.
At that moment, long before I had even read Let Them by Mel Robbins, I felt a surge of clarity: Let him have a completely warped understanding of this sacred bond between my son and I. It’s not my concern that he holds outdated, misogynistic views on women’s bodies, especially when it comes to something as intimate and natural as breastfeeding.
I didn’t feel the need to explain myself. I didn’t need to justify why I chose to nurse my child longer than society expected. It wasn’t anyone’s business but mine. And in that moment, I reminded myself that I would not let someone else’s opinions, no matter how offhand or hurtful, control my choices as a mother.
Let them think what they want. I moved forward in my journey, breastfeeding with pride, because ultimately, I knew that my decisions were rooted in love, care, and what was best for my child.
The Pressure to Conform
In our world, there is often an overwhelming push to conform to societal standards. And as mothers, we feel it acutely—whether it’s pressure to breastfeed a certain way, for a certain amount of time, or to stop when others think it’s “appropriate.” In one instance, after my son was nine months old, I returned to work and had a back-to-work meeting with my manager. We were discussing my transition back into the office, when she casually joked about me “cutting the cord.” She seemed to think that my continued breastfeeding was somehow inappropriate or excessive, that it was something I should have moved on from by that point.
I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of clarity in that moment, just like with my relative. Let her think that it’s inappropriate for me to prioritize my son’s health and well-being over this job.Because, quite frankly, it was none of her concern. I knew deep down that my son would always be more important to me than any paid job I could ever have.
Let her think what she wants. I held my ground and continued breastfeeding without apology, because I knew what I was doing was right for my family.
Embracing Your Breastfeeding Journey
Breastfeeding can be an incredibly intimate and rewarding experience. But when the outside world starts to question your choices, it’s easy to feel like you need to justify yourself. The truth is, there will always be someone who has an opinion about what you should be doing as a mother. Whether it’s about how long you should breastfeed, whether you should pump, or whether you’re “doing it right,” the world has a lot to say.
But here’s the key: Let them think what they want.
It’s not your job to convince others of your choices. You don’t need to justify why you’re still breastfeeding or pumping, why you chose one feeding method over another, or why you decided to continue nursing beyond the norm. You don’t need to explain to anyone why you prioritize your baby’s health over societal expectations. You are allowed to take up space in your motherhood without seeking permission from anyone else.
This is where the Let Them mindset becomes incredibly empowering. It reminds us that we are the architects of our own journey, and we don’t need anyone else’s approval to feel validated in our decisions. Whether you choose to breastfeed for a few weeks, months, or years, that is your choice. And no one has the right to make you feel small, guilty, or inadequate for it.
How the “Let Them” Theory Empowers Nursing and Pumping Mothers
If you’re a nursing or pumping mother, you likely face exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and the emotional weight of trying to meet everyone else’s expectations. And when you add unsolicited advice and comments to the mix, it can feel like a lot to carry. But here’s how you can apply the Let Them philosophy to your breastfeeding journey:
1. Let them have their opinions, but trust your own instincts.
No one knows your baby better than you. Trust your instincts as a mother and choose what works best for you and your child. The world might think that nursing a toddler or pumping exclusively is strange, but it’s your body, your choice, and your relationship with your child.
2. Let them question, but don’t let
their questions undermine your confidence.
When people question your decisions, it’s easy to feel defensive or insecure. But you don’t need to justify your choices to anyone. Stand firm in your decisions and let others think what they will. Your journey is yours to define.
3. Let them talk, but don’t let their words drain you.
People may make jokes, offer unsolicited advice, or criticize your approach. It’s okay to tune it out. Focus on what’s important—your health, your baby’s health, and the bond you share through breastfeeding. The world may have a lot to say, but their words don’t have to affect you.
4. Let them expect you to conform, but create your own rhythm.
You don’t need to follow anyone’s timeline or expectations of what your breastfeeding journey should look like. Define your own rhythm and be unapologetic about it. Whether you breastfeed for a few months or a few years, what matters most is what works for you and your baby.
Conclusion: Empowering Yourself Through the “Let Them” Philosophy
Breastfeeding is a deeply personal journey, and it’s one that deserves to be embraced without guilt or shame. Let them think what they want—but remember that your journey, your choices, and your bond with your baby are yours alone. You don’t need anyone’s approval to validate your motherhood. You are doing enough. You are enough.
So, take a deep breath, trust yourself, and move forward with confidence. Whether you’re nursing, pumping, or doing a combination of both, own your journey, because it’s yours. And that’s all that matters.
With love,
Danielle
❤️
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