Breastfeeding was never just about nourishment. It was comfort, connection, and an unspoken language between me and my precious rainbow baby boy. I had always imagined that when the time came to wean, it would be gentle, gradual, and led by my little one. But life doesn’t always go according to plan.
For some mothers, weaning is a choice made over time. For others, it happens suddenly—due to illness, medication, surgery, or other medical reasons. Having to stop breastfeeding abruptly is a shock to both mother and baby, and it can leave you reeling emotionally, physically, and hormonally. If you’re in this position right now, I want you to know: you are not alone. I see you, I feel your heartbreak, and I’m here to help you through it, as I have dozens of 1-2-1 clients.
The Emotional Toll of Abrupt Weaning
I never anticipated how deeply weaning would affect me. We hear so much about the challenges of beginning breastfeeding, but very little about the emotional weight of stopping—especially when it’s not by choice.
Whether your little one is nine months or three years old, weaning before you feel truly ready can feel like grief. It’s okay to mourn the loss of those quiet nursing moments, the sleepy feeds, the way your child finds solace in your arms. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, or even guilty. But please, let me remind you: you are a wonderful mother, and stopping breastfeeding doesn’t take away from everything you have already given your baby. It also won't stop you from being a devoted mother.
So where do we go from here? How do we navigate this unexpected transition with as much love and care as possible—for our little ones and for ourselves?
1. Communicating with Your Little One
Even if your baby is too young to fully understand, they deserve to be part of the conversation. Weaning is not just a physical process—it’s an emotional one, and gentle communication can make all the difference.
For older babies and toddlers, honesty (with age-appropriate language) can be incredibly reassuring. Here are some phrases you can use, depending on your child’s age and understanding:
For babies around 9-12 months: “Mama’s milk is going away/bye-bye, but I am still here to cuddle you and keep you close.”
For toddlers: “Soon my milk will be all gone from mamas boobs and in your tummy and your bones and you heart, forever, but we can still snuggle, sing, and have special time together.”
For children who struggle with sudden change: Using visual cues (such as a calendar with a weaning countdown) or a special “goodbye milk” ceremony can help bring closure.
No matter how you communicate, the most important thing is to reinforce your love and presence. Breastfeeding is just one way of nurturing—your bond with your child will continue to grow in new ways.
2. Comforting Your Little One During the Transition
Breastfeeding is often a powerful source of comfort beyond hunger, and your child will likely need extra reassurance as you navigate this change together.
Here are some ways to offer comfort and security:
Extra cuddles and skin-to-skin contact – Your little one may miss the physical closeness of nursing, so holding them close can provide a similar sense of security.
A new bedtime routine – If nursing was part of your wind-down routine, replacing it with a new comforting ritual (such as a special song, massage, or bedtime story) can ease the transition.
Offering a special comfort item – A soft blanket, stuffed animal, or even a shirt that smells like you can be soothing for your little one.
It’s normal for your child to protest, especially if breastfeeding has been a major part of their day. But with patience, love, and consistency, they will adjust in their own time.
3. Navigating Weaning Blues & Hormonal Shifts
What I wasn’t prepared for was the sudden emotional shift that came after weaning—often referred to as post-weaning depression.
When we breastfeed, our bodies release oxytocin (the “love hormone”), which keeps us feeling calm and connected. When we stop nursing abruptly, those hormone levels drop, sometimes dramatically. This can result in:
Mood swings
Anxiety
Low energy
Brain fog
Insomnia/nighmares and more.
For me, the weaning blues lasted for several months. Some days, I felt like I was floating in a fog of emotions I couldn’t fully process and it was weeks before the clouds began to lift. If you find yourself in this space, please know:
Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to grieve the end of this chapter - do not allow others to minimise your feelings.
You are not alone. Reach out to other moms who understand, or seek support from a therapist or counsellor if needed.
This will pass. Trust that your body and mind will adjust, just as they did when you first became a mother.
Gentle exercise, fresh air, journaling, and talking about your feelings with someone who understands can be incredibly helpful during this transition.
4. Safely Reducing Your Milk Supply
Abrupt weaning can be painful—literally. Without a gradual decrease in milk demand, your body may struggle with engorgement, blocked ducts, or even mastitis.
To help your body adjust:
Hand express just enough to relieve pressure – Avoid full pumping sessions, as this will signal your body to keep producing milk.
Use cold cabbage leaves or cold compresses – These can help soothe engorgement and naturally reduce supply.
Drink sage tea – Sage contains natural estrogen-like compounds that can help lower milk production.
Wear a supportive (but not tight) bra – Compression can increase the risk of blocked ducts, so avoid overly tight bras.
If you experience extreme pain, fever, or signs of mastitis (redness, warmth, or flu-like symptoms), seek medical advice immediately.
5. Coming to Terms with the Decision
This wasn’t how you imagined weaning would go. And that’s hard. But please know that stopping breastfeeding does not define your journey as a mother.
You have given your child something incredible. Whether you nursed for a few days, a few months, or a few years—you did an amazing job and you will continue to do so.
As you step into this new chapter, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve, but also allow yourself to embrace the new ways you’ll connect with your little one. Because motherhood isn’t about how we feed our babies—it’s about how we love them. And that love remains, unwavering and infinite, no matter what.
You are still everything your child needs.
And you always will be.
Let Me Hold Your Hand Through This
If you’re struggling with the transition, I’ve created a range the most comprehensive set of weaning resources available to support you:
🌟 Weaning with Love Course – A comprehensive 8-week course to help you wean gradually, safely, and with love (ore-order to get £70 off before the launch on 28.02.25)
🌟 Weaning with Love Webinar – A one-hour workshop to guide you through weaning with confidence and care.
🌟 Weaning with Love Guide – A step-by-step guide to gentle weaning. Get 20% off with code WEAN20.
You don’t have to go through this alone and I would love to help, every step of the way.
With love,
Danielle
❤️
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